Horses

https://cheezburger.com/2548660480

 

The Neufeld Nonsense: At Least He Admits It

This conversation happened July 25th, 2018

I asked Google why my son, Oliver, was crying. It said that the typical answer is that a child was overtired, which can cause irrational behavior. So, I turned to him and said:

"Ha! You hear that? You're tired and irrational!"

His reply:

"I know! Ha ha ha!"

The Neufeld Nonsense: The Eyelid Painters

This conversation happened November 9th, 2011:

Ava wakes up at 1:30am and comes wandering into the living room. She had a bad dream apparently, so I go and get her some juice. I tell her to go back to sleep, but she doesn't want to close her eyes because it'll make things dark.

Being quick on my feet even at that time of evening (or morning I suppose), I proceed to tell her that it doesn't really make things dark, it's just that she's staring at the back of her eyelids and someone had painted them black.

She laughed and went back to sleep.

Games with Sealife

 

https://cheezburger.com/2167176960

Flashback to the Dumbest Criminals of 2009

 

Puns Are the Best Defense Against the Robot Apocalypse

Turn Up Your Hearing Aid

Phone conversation of the day (customer name changed to protect privacy):

Me: Can I help you?
Customer Hi, Jordan this is Susan. Can you look and see if the doctor called in my prescription?
Me: Let me take a look. [Reaches for keyboard.]
Customer: Oh, they haven't?
Me: I haven't even looked you up yet, Susan. [Typing in customer name.]
Customer: Alright, darn, I was hoping they would have. I'll check back.
Me: Susan, I haven't even looked you up yet. Hang on.
Customer: Okay... Bye!
Me: SUSAN!

The Neufeld Nonsense: Best Prayer Ever?

"Dear Jesus, please let our food be bacon. Amen."

- Ava, Age 4 (9/22/2013)

The Neufeld Nonsense: Growing Up In A Digital World Will Do This

The following happened on June 20th, 2018.

Ezri and I were playing a game of Bellz, a table top game where you use a magnet to pick up your specific color of metal bells without picking up any of the other colors. I had to get up for a moment to do something in another room, and when I got back she was off playing with her brother, Oliver.

So I called her. "Ezri, are you still playing?"

Her reply?

"No, I logged out."

What

"I don't want to take your peters."

- Me, at work, no context.

April Fools 2019

I started playing Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley on repeat at work. It lasted a whole hour and a half before anyone said anything.